Breast Reduction

Question about my "Boyfriend"?

Okay, well, my boyfriend was once a girl until he got cancer. Since he WAS a girl he had breasts and female genitalia. Before that, he had a breast reduction, and after that, he was virtually flat. He also always found himself masculine and felt that he should be a boy. When they were checking him to see if radiation therapy was alright, he found out he had tubes for a man and a woman. As I said previously he wanted to be a boy, so what luck! He then had a sex change, and I don't know what else to make him more into a boy than a girl. Now, was he a hermaphrodite? He also considered himself "gay," because he liked boys, until long-story-short, he fell in love with me(I am a girl) and he considers himself straight, BUT calls himself lesbian to his best friends that knew him since he was a "female." Explain? I found out he was once a girl after we started saying we loved each other, but when I saw his "female" pictures, I had feelings towards him. And mixed feelings for girls. Am I bi? It peeves me when a person just thumbdowns every answer.

Public Comments

1. No offense, but this sounds like a script for a Jerry Springer episode! Okay, here is my analysis: 1) Your 'boyfriend' was born hermaphroditic. The doctors made a choice to make 'it' a girl. 2) After the cancer and operations, this person became a boy. Now, for all intents and purposes, 'he' is a man. 3) You fell in love with this man. As you are a female, loving a man, that makes you straight (barring other incidents). 4) Your boyfriend is loving you, which makes him straight. 5) Given his past, he may jokingly call himself a lesbian. However, now that he is a man, he is having a heterosexual relationship with you. You are not bi-sexual due to this relationship. Just don't hope for natural children.
2. Question number one: intersex is usually the preferred term, not hermaphrodite. Don't have answers for the other questions, sorry.
3. Wow, this is very confusing! The best advice I can give is just don't even worry about labeling yourself. If youre asked what your sexual orientation is just say something like "I have so much love to give, I don't want to restrict myself". But if you feel you need a label, in your situation I would go with pansexual. Pans don't care about the genitalia, they care about the individual. Pansexuality is possibly the purest and most inclusive sexual orientation that there is because you are leaving yourself open to anyone and not wasting time worrying about whether someone is male, female, or anything in between. I have a friend who identifies as pan and she is quite possibly the most loving, compassionate person I know. On a side note, I want you to know how great it is that you were okay with finding out about your boyfriend's biological sex. I'm glad that this doesn't matter to you and that you can still love him. The world needs more people like you.
4. AWWWW!!! you two sound so cute! Maybe you have feelings for him when you see his "girl" pics b/c you know him now. But yes, you could be bi. Or not. But anyways, good luck with your relationship! :)
5. you might be bi or just really in love with the person (not their gender).